Miracles Happen Everyday.....Right?

Monday was a pretty uneventful day, we just sat around and DID NOTHING. We played a bit, mommy started the previous blog entry and OT came in. That was until Dr. Shiy came in and told us we were going to get an MRI the next day. He wanted one to see where we were at, I began freaking out OF COARSE, because well, that is just me. I can't help it, its in my blood, I get it from my father. So the rest of the day I began worrying about the next day's MRI. Ry is home still getting a couple of days of work in so I am by myself worrying like its going out of style. 

The evening got a little better, I ordered some pizza for myself and tried to relax a little. Julie was our nurse again, I absolutely LOVE her. She is great with Keegan and we have A LOT in common. She livened up the mood a little and we talked about different stuff, I am definitely a talker when I am nervous! When the sun began to set I did capture some really great pictures of Keegan.

Tuesday came, what turns out to be the 2nd worst day in my entire life.  He was NPO past 6 am so by the time the called him to come downstairs for his MRI he was starving at not happy. I signed my consent, kissed my baby and left him in doctors hands.  Two hours later he was brought back to me but screaming a scream that makes my blood boil. I knew he was in pain. I quickly asked for some pain meds, which or nurse got but then I saw the social worker.......

She came into the room and asked me to join her and our oncologist in the conference room ( I knew it wasn't good).  Sally a nurse from clinic joined us. I sat down (alone, Ry at that point is on his wait to Indy which is 3 hours from home) and everyone sat around me. I looked a Dr. Shiy and said it isn't good is it? and he said, no its not.

I couldn't believe the words that just came out of his mouth, we ALL thought the MRI would show progress, if not a ton, enough to show us we are moving in the right direction. The rest of the meeting is a blur of diagnostic talk, possible treatment options and me repeating "oh my god and Okay" multiple times.

Basically, and I was waiting until all close family was notified to share with my bloggy and interweb friends (not that you guys don't matter I just didn't want family to read this via the Internet).

These words are still hard for me to say out loud and bring tears to my eyes but here it goes ::Big Gulp::

KEEGAN'S TUMOR IS BACK; IT GREW THROUGH THE WORST POSSIBLE CHEMOTHERAPY TREATMENT OUT THERE FOR CHILDREN!

Omigosh, how could that be-I am sure that is what you are thinking, and honestly we are still trying to figure it out. No one knows. We have some options, not to cure him-because at this point that is not possible-but to prolong his life with quality time and love.  I am not going to elaborate on options, these are for Ry and I to mull through and decide, plus we are waiting to hear back from St. Jude's, Boston's and CHOP.

I am a loss for words, I feel like only a miracle can save our baby now. Yes we can try to prolong his life, should we I don't know, am I ready to give up HELL NO! So right now my motto is : Miracles happen everyday!