Monday, January 31, 2011

What is Love?

I am "moonlighting" over at Love is Everywhere. Check out my post, check out Katie's wonderfully inspiring, upbeat blog. You won't regret it I promise, leave her some love-you know you want to!

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

I'm in a Funk

I don't know what it it the winter? is it being stuck in the house all day everyday? is it not having many adult conversations in a day? is it waiting and waiting for our next MRI to see what Keegan's brain and spine look like? is it feeling like I work 24/7 with no break? I have no clue what it is but I.AM.IN.A.FUNK!

I had been doing great, I looked forward to each new day and getting out of bed with my little booger. But in the last 24 hours things have changed and I am not sure why. I had a semi-panic attack when I noticed Keegan holding his head to the right. We have struggled with torticolis in the past and he definitely favors that side but my mind goes, everysingletime! I wrote an email to our nurse practitioner and she thought it was important enough to bring up to our oncologist. So then the oncologist calls me. It must be a big deal if he is just calling me and not jotting out a brief email. I go over the symptoms and signs with him, he doesn't seem to think its a big deal so I breathe a sigh of relief. But the depressed/worried attitude didn't stop there.

I went out to dinner with my girlfriends at Olive Garden, I had a glass of wine and relaxed. But then as all my friends were talking about their "normal" kids I got more depressed. They were talking about potty training and when and if to spank. I only pray I have to worry about these things and when I start to think about it, it really gets me upset. If only that was my only thing to worry about.

I had plans of stopping by Babies 'R Us and returning something and then stopping by Kohl's to get some K cups for my Keureg but I just didn't have it in me. I should have, in hindsight, I should have just gone out for about an hour after dinner, had time to myself and headed home. But I wanted to get home to my little boy and see if he was still holding his head funny. So that is right where I went. I walked in the door and he just beamed up at me, I have to admit it felt really good.

I took a Kolonopin before bed, crawled in and read some of a wonderful book I recommend to all my mommy and mommy to be friends; its called Exploiting My Baby: Because its Exploiting Me . I chuckled a little to myself as I read over some of the final chapters and went off to night night land. 

I woke up today feeling refreshed and ready to go, minus the fact that Kee was up at 12:30 and 4. We played most of the morning and while I never got out of my jammies, never did my hair or took a shower I felt okay. Later in the afternoon I began to get in the funk again. Keegan got crabby (whether it be because of his teeth or tiredness it's hard to tell anymore). I laid him down for a nap around 4, well he didn't want a nap, only problem was I needed one. I was cramping like a sonofabitch and needed to relax. After 5 minutes of incessant screaming I picked him up and brought him back to the living room.

All day we had planned on having omelets for dinner with leftover ham. Well once hubby and mom got home my attitude went from BAD to WORSE. I no longer wanted omelets and I had NO clue what I wanted, I was hungry, in a bad mood and didn't really want to deal with it. Then, the plans I thought Ry and I had to get out of the house for a bit were smashed all to hell when he decided I was crazy for wanting to go to this particular store. So then Mom and I were going to run to Target but that quickly went a bust when I could really rationalize wanting to go for some coffee creamer........So here I am, in a funk on Tuesday night at 8:02 pm. To top it off the State of the union address is on which means TV is sucking tonight.......

I think I just need to sleep for like 5 days straight...that will get me out of my funk right?

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Because this is my baby in his 2nd to last round of chemo....

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Forgive me Blogger

Forgive me Blogger for I have sinned, it has been 10 whole days since I officially updated last and I have no excuse. I would like to be able to tell all my friends and followers out there that there is a good reason, like we are so busy playing that I forgot all about the blog.  While this is partially true; I can not tell and lie, I do usually have down time in my day, I just don't know how to manage my downtime.

Sometimes, to be quite honest, time just gets away from me. Our "new" typical day goes a little something like this. Keegan will wake up anywhere between 6-7:30 depending on the night before. He gets 4-5 medicines at 8 am depending on the day. We will hangout and watch the Today show and Kathy Lee and Hoda. Usually about this time he needs a bottle. Two days out of the five day work week we have PT and OT. They show up anywhere between 11-1. We sit down for lunch around 11:30 as long as he is not busy with Therapy. Per our "nutritionist" at Riley He gets one meat (protein) and either a veggie or fruit. Depending on how much of that he takes (which lately hasn't been much, he is cutting molars!) he may be a bottle of nutrin Jr. The afternoon is spent playing. We got from the living room to the kitchen in the afternoon . He LOVES our kitchen with the bright yellow and red walls. We also have spot lighting in there that he just loves to stare at. I let him bang on stuff for awhile while I am doing dishes, laundry and all the "fun" stuff I am responsible for. Usually he goes down for a late afternoon nap around 3:30 or 4 and sleeps for an hour or so. Daddy comes home at 5 and Grandma around the same time! Then its dinner around 6 or so. We hang out as a family and watch TV until his bedtime which is between 8 and 9.

I know it doesn't seem like much but once the day gets started it just has a tendency to get away from me. Add into that schedule trips every other week to Riley and last week we had a consult for speech therapy, days goes by pretty quick! Because of Keegan's low tone and the swallow studies he has continued to fail because of his low tone, we are bringing speech therapy on board; I believe its gonna be every other week.

There are so many things I want and need to fit into my day but haven't figured out to incorporate. For instance, and this can be directed to all the SAHM out there, I need to work on school work (which is all on the computer) and my crafting business but I don't really know how....Keegan can't go in the basement with me because we don't know if there is mold down there or not and we can't take the risk with his transplant and all......I don't like to commit myself to work on school stuff if he is gonna need me for something else and I like to knock out a whole lesson or so when I do sit down to work on it. I don't know, any suggestions would be most helpful! I have figured out how to incorporate a half hour every other day on the treadmill, that was a godsend.

Keegan is doing good. He wants to move SO BADLY! You can just tell that he wants to go go go! We think he might walk before he crawls. He doesn't pull up on anything he just uses his leg muscles and goes right up! Its amazing! This kid never ceases to amaze me! His hair is also growing back. Its getting longer and thicker-I am in love! He has been a little cuddle bug lately as well. Its so fun now that he is more aware of his surroundings and interacting with us in a give take kinda way. I know most people take this step for granted, it usually just kinda happens for most babies and they are still rather young, but with Keegan we aren't taking anything for granted and have the tendency to make a HUGE deal out of every step he takes!

He does have an MRI scheduled for February 8th. We are asking supporters to wear green that day in support of him getting a nice clean scan. You can upload pics of you and your family wearing your green to our facebook page Karing for Keegan or you can send them to me at my gmail address and I will post to FB.

I know I have said this before, but it won't be so long between posts, PROMISE!

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Because he had to work on his resume.....

Sunday, January 9, 2011

Evansville Icemen

So our family has a good friend, Paul. He used to play Hockey for the Evansville Icemen. He left the Icemen to play for a team in Louisiana. But Paul has not stopped caring and checking in on Keegan since he left. You see he contacted one of the coordinators at the Icemen and they held a fundraiser for us last night. They did a silent auction for a signed hockey stick by the players. We were also asked to drop the puck. I don't have any idea how much was raised but I am so grateful to Paul and the Evansville Icemen for helping us out. Here are some pictures from last night, there is another benefit for us next weekend as well, if you can you should come check it out, its a Good Time to be had by all!

Look What I Can Do!

So we have been home a month on January 6th! It's so good to spend so much time in a space we are more comfortable and love to be! We often found in between hospital stays Kee would take a step forward (developmentally) and then once we were in the hospital he would regress and would have to re-teach or re-show Keegan what we already knew he was capable of.

This past month has been FULL of steps forward, and in the right direction. No he is not walking yet, but I feel it is gonna be no time that he is mobile and on the GO, no holding him back! He has gone from laying in a hospital bed all day EVERYDAY to rolling, pushing up on his belly, moving around in his walker and standing on a chair to peer out the window! I have pictures to prove it:

Evidence 1:

Evidence #2:

Evidence #3:

And here is a video, he has turned into a regular chatterbox!

Chatterbox from Keegansmommy09 on Vimeo.

Thanks for hanging around, I know its been awhile since I have posted. Needless to say, I have a mover and a shaker on my hands!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Wordless Wednesday

Because he LOVES Wheel of Fortune

Monday, January 3, 2011

Day of Silence

Today I am taking it upon myself to take of day of silence. One of the young patients on the stem cell floor, who was up there at the same time we were passed away last week. He was 4 years old and was diagnosed with ALL (Acute lymphoblastic leukemia ) in April '09. He relapsed twice and passed away in the arms of his parents just 4 days after Christmas. Please keep his family in your thoughts and prayers today as they bury their oldest child.
Rest in Peace little man, Heaven has gained a new angel!