A Boy and His Dog

So this video was shot Friday the 18th. Keegan was playing on the floor and Lexus (our obviously older Beagle) came and sat right next to him, a first for her! He stuck his hand out and started petting her. I was astonished so I got the camera out and started to roll. It gets pretty funny when he tries to push her away and then lays his head on her. Its kinda a long video because I didn't want to stop filming, so if you have to time to watch the whole thing please do, it will brighten your day I am sure!

A Boy and His Dog from Keegansmommy09 on Vimeo.

11 Things about '11 that I am excited about!

This year, instead of a post like Last Year's; which was neither sad or happy, it just was, I want to focus on the things we are looking forward to most in 2011. While 2010 was one (for the lack of a better word) HELL of a year we are hoping to put that behind us and leave it a distant memory. So with no further adue our list.

Top 11 Things for '11

11. Visting more family out of town

10. Play dates with friends when he can actually leave the house

9. Weight loss before getting pregnant (see #3)

8. Finishing my schooling and getting a medical transcription job to work from home

7. Keegan walking and Talking-although first we have to crawl

6. Less trips to Riley and more trips to fun places like the zoo

5. A neice or nephew to grow up with Kee

4. Starting my crafting business-Kee to My Creations

3. Baby #2 being conceived

2. Trip to Florida with our Family

1. Health and Remission

So here out with the old and in with the new. While this year has proved to be one of hardest of all of our lives, I think it has made us the people we are destined to become. It hasn't been easy and I wouldn't wish it upon my worst enemy but it is what it is, here is to praying 2011 proves to be healther, happier, and easier than 2010 was!

Found this quote and I think it is perfect for our New Year's Montra:

There are only two ways to live your life.
One is as though nothing is a miracle.
The other is as though everything is a miracle.- Albert Einstein

With Love!



It's a funny thing....

I thought that I would let ya'll know I have been contacted by Overstock.com to feature them in a blog post and add links to some of their products. After which I would be able to provide my readers with a 10% off coupon code. I find this funny and odd all at the same time. I am not a giveaway blog, I am not a "featured product" blog, nor am I a blog that reviews products. I blog about my life. My life that is ANYTHING but normal.

I was contacted by a PR person to do it. I was kinda like "well what's in it for me" because honestly I don't think Overstock has very good prices and have NEVER bought anything from them. I always find better deals at Amazon.com or ebay.com. This particular PR rep never said anything, so, I apologize to all my followers but that is not what this blog is about (not that it would be if I was compensated) but this blog is about life; about living life with a child that has a disability. Not about the next best sale at Overstock.com.

I don't know how she got ahold of me. I don't know if they google pages with so many hits or what. I obviously don't have thousands of followers publicly like some of the blogs I follow do. So I don't know why me but I am sorry, I can't bring myself to do it and whats 10% anyway? 

Hope Everyone is having a joyous Holiday Season, I myself can't wait to get the go ahead to head home, its almost been 2 full months since we have stepped foot in our own home!!!

Love,

Things I Have Realized in the Last Two Weeks.....

This is a list, compiled by moi, of things deep and not so deep that have come to me in the last two weeks we have been in the hospital (list form of coarse, its always easier):

1. This is a tough round of chemo (duh, Beth right?!?!) No I mean really-the mucositis, the vomiting and diarrhea is all so much worse this time.
2. Keegan is on the upswing of things (we think he peaked on Saturday for the worst possible day yet), that or the continuous dose of Dialaudid is finally right and he is comfortable-either way, the days are much nicer!
3. Keegan sleeps ALOT when he system is on the rebound he has pretty much been sleeping almost for 24 hours now.
4. I have scene this campus (IUPUI/Riley) in Spring, Summer, Fall and getting ready to see the winter version-how sad is that? I realized this while walking back over to the hospital from RMH and looking down this beautiful corridor between the parking garage and the outpatient center and almost half the trees have no leaves ::insert pouty face::
5. I am REALLY looking forward to Christmas this year, not really sure why-I haven't been like this since I was a kid but for some reason this year is extra special and I feel like going all out even though we don't have the money (so I won't don't worry)
6. We have to buy a new tree. Because of Keegan's transplant we can not put the old one up because it previously (before last year) was stored in its original box complete with water damage from one of the basement floods thus causing molding to the box and thus probably causing mold spores on the tree even though we cant see it. So new tree it is.
7. I am in love with all things sweet. There.I.said.it! I can't get enough. I go to the grocery trying to get food that I can "live on" during the week while mom, Ryan and family are at home and I am here alone with Kee. It never seems to fail, I come back with cookies, pastries, chips, soda and other very bad things-comfort food, maybe......
8. I am WAY WAY WAY overweight and out of shape and its depressing. After Keegan was born I planned to get back on the treadmill as soon as the doctor would allow, well; Then all his health issues kept creeping to the surface and I kept pushing it back and pushing it back. I need to get healthy, for me and for my families sake. At this point it has to wait until we are released from Riley and home, this place is not conducive for a diet and/or exercise.
9. I loathe the Ronald McDonald House. I hate setting foot in that place. To me (and this is my opinion and my opinion only and not about other Ronald McDonald houses worldwide) its dirty, dark, depressing and most if not all of the volunteers are not very nice. I have had a women (I think the same one) on more than one occasion be RUDE beyond words. Our bedroom is gross, there is a HUGE stain of who knows what in the middle of the floor between the 2 beds and the shower never completely drains while you are in it showering.
10. I LOVE my husband. I always knew that I loved him, but being separated for half the week really makes me miss him and spending quality time with him. He is my best friend and soul mate. It aches my heart on Sunday afternoon when he drives 3 hours home so he can work part of the week only to provide for his family-I know that if he could he would be here with us 24/7-I am positive of that-I LOVE YOU RY!
11. 5 flights of stairs is a LONG way to go up when you are out of shape see #7 & #8.
12. There are so many wonderful and caring people throughout this great country that care for Keegan. I have been receiving cards on a daily basis from people far and wide. They give me hope, they give me strength, and help me feel like we are NOT in this fight alone; god has given us lots of people to turn to.
13. The nurses over her on the Stem Cell side are beyond WONDERFUL. In fact I really enjoy the ones I have gotten to know and would consider them friends. That is a good feeling.
14. I know who my trues friends are, whether that be IRL or the inter webs, you know who you are and you matter to me!!!
15. My sister needs a good guy, again my heart aches for her to find her soul mate. I hate that she has to go through guy after guy only to find they are either full of themselves or not mature enough to handle a real relationship (by any means). I have really liked the guys she has dated, but I hope she finds Mr. Right, she deserves it!
16. Although its tough to find the time to blog, I LOVE it, it helps me vent, and gives you guys a peek into our life!
17. Keegan hates to have his mouth suctioned. He pushes the wand away everysingletime I get it close. Buddy this stuff is better out than in-PROMISE!

Thanks for bearing with me!
I think today is a good day!
B

Busy little Bees we are, we are!

The last couple of weeks have seemed to fly by! Let me tell you that since we have gotten the **Great** news about the tumor not recurring, we have started and finished round 4 of chemo which involved chemo given at home through his G-tube and are now on our fifth round in hospital (intense) chemo. Somethings that have happened since August 30th, the last time I really sat down and hammered out a post....

• We came inpatient to finish round 4, at which time our stem cell transplant lady came and talked with us. She scared the living daylights out of me! We are going to be hospitalized 4-6 weeks for Round 6, then we are supposed to live in an Apartment at RMH for 2 weeks since we will have to make daily trips to the clinic at Riley. We have to CLEAN and by CLEAN I am talking something out of ET when they hang all the plastic and disinfect the house.....We have to have the couch cleaned the blinds cleaned the vents cleaned....then the normal everyday dusting and disinfecting.....he is then going to be confined to the 4 walls of our home for 6 months! He can't leave AT.ALL! Which also means momma can't leave at all during the day......small price to pay for trying to get to the "cancer free" stage!
• I guest blogged over at Making Lemonade, one of my favorite blogs and bloggers, Carrie asked if I would do it for her Blogoversary and I couldn't have been more happy with the way the post turned out. Basically its an overview of our entire trip through life with Baby Kee, you can find it here  ( that is the first part, Carrie had to break it up into two parts!) And the second part can be found here.
• We ordered more T-shirts (in all sizes) and I ordered car decals, if anyone wants one, we are doing free shipping. T Shirts are $15, Car Decals are $3 and we still have some bracelets for $2.....you know you want some...I will even accept the money paypal!

• We got a little infection in our Button (during round 4 stay we had our G-tube converted to a button). We whisked Keegan away to Riley's ER on Wednesday the 8th, he was admitted, started on IV antibiotics and then released to come back in the matter of 3 days, Whirlwind I tell you!
• Mommy ordered Keegan's Birthday cake AND won some delicious cupcakes from ABCupcakes out of Frenchlick, we are doing cupcakes on his birthday and the cake on the weekend since more people will be able to come up on the weekend! We are looking forward to celebrating his year of life-and what a year it has been!
• There was a fundraiser held in NY NY last night, September 16th, thrown by one of my best friends in the entire world. Here are some pics of the night http://tinyurl.com/22lw8gd. I am anxious to talk to her later today and find out how the night went since there was a tornado in NY and all!

For the most part I think I have caught you up to date, I am gonna try my hardest not to let it get this far behind. I hate trying to remember EVERYTHING from the last month! Hope everyone is having a great September and looking forward to the fall and everything it entails!

It's Good to Be Back

Today is one of those days, those days that you are very grateful for. I never thought I would say that about returning to the HEMOC floor of Riley Hospital, but yes, it does feel good to be back.

We checked in around 11 am in the outpatient center where we waited for about 4 hours to get fluids and our room had to be cleaned. Then we were hustled up to our home away from home, the fifth floor Cancer and Oncology Center.

Walking back through the double doors onto the unit felt good, I won't lie! Just a mere month ago our prognosis was terminal and our chemotherapy was stopped with pallative radiation being our only way to keep Keegan around longer. But tonight here I am, blogging from Room 26, our little corner room with a view that we have been in 3 times before.

There is something about returning to this place and seeing all the familar faces, hearing all the familar sounds and yes even sleeping on the same horribly Barney Dinosaur Purple chair bed that makes me feel at home. Weird I know, but when you think you have said your goodbye's to staff and fellow patients and their families, it's good to return and tell them the great news.

I applogize for my hiatus from blogging, between our big Rummage Sale that was had in our honor and the baked sale, chinese auction, and cookout we had this past weekend, there was not much time for blogging. Besides that I just want to cherish the great news with my family and my little boy!

We also had familiy pictures taken by the WONDERFUL Jessi Briner of Bee Elle Photography last night. From the couple of pictures I have seen that have been edited I am WAY excited, check this out:

Awesome Right?!?!? Anyway, I am gonna get back to my baby, he is about to start his IV chemo and I am STARVING!

I will update soon, I pinky promise! 

A Moment in Time

Tonight I rocked my baby. Tonight I rocked my baby while singing to him. Tonight I rocked my baby while singing a song from Marc Broussard and the whole world seemed to stop.  It was one of those moments where, even though you know it can't, you just want it to last forever.

Keegan had been fussing for a little while this evening while sitting in his Boppy. I decided a call to my Grammy and Grampy was in order since I have not talked to them in a while. While I was on the phone he got more and more aggravated because his paci kept popping out of his mouth.

Meanwhile Ry was sitting on the other end of the couch working on my sisters monogram thingy for her wedding in July. He had itunes up and was listening to some mellow music. The music that was playing reminded me of Marc and I asked him to put something from him on. I scooped up Baby Kee and began to rock him slowly while sitting on the couch. He snuggled into me and began to close his eyes. As I sang The Wanderer I just watched my baby and thought about how time is just flying by! It seems like only yesterday I was being induced for Pre-Eclampsia and looking forward to meeting my baby boy. It's moments like that that I WISH could last forever!

Christmas Wish

I was going to name this post, Thought provoking Thursday Post but decided against it at the last minute. Maybe in the future I will have a "Day of the Week" Post but for now, this is my christmas wish. While Keegan was laying on my lap today, grinning and giggling and melting his momma's heart, I had a swell in my throat. Not only for my baby, who turned 3 months old yesterday but for the future. I see him and want so badly for him to have "normal" functioning, I believe deep down in my mommy soul that he will and if not, if we are dealing with some repercussions of SGBS and he ends up having some delay or slowness, that will not change how Ryan or I or even any of his family love him.
You always want what is best for you child, I totally get this concept now.  That being said, while I was watching Keegan today on my lap smiling at the door, I turned to Ry and commented how I would eventually like to give Keegan a brother or a sister (maybe both).  This is really my christmas wish, I dont want Keegan to be alone, I want him to have a sibling to share in the fun of holidays, family get togethers and weeknight dinners. Above all things I want him to have a sibling so he can have a best friend that has a bond stronger than most.  The one thing that worries me and crosses my mind daily is "what if we are told one of us is the carrier for  SGBS" I don't want to knowingly bring another child into this word only to have obstacles placed in their way because "we wanted another child."
I dont know, I know its not in our hands. I also know that I am a worrier. Its in my blood to not only worry about things in my control but to also worry about things that aren't. So this year, my christmas wish is to eventually be able to give Keegan a brother or sister to grow up with. We will be getting genetically tested sooner rather than later so we can know for sure but if there is one thing I want this year for christmas, its not DVDS, jewerly, clothes or even gift cards. It's to know that there is hope that we are not the carries of the gentic mutation and that we can go on to have another healthy baby or two.
I am going to leave you with a sweet story because I have gotten very deep and kind of sad in my last couple of posts and I apologize, its just what I am going through right now. My mom has a friend named Brenda. Brenda is a wonderful lady. She came to my baby shower and asks about baby Keegan anytime mom sees her at work. About two months ago mom stopped by our house on the way home from work with a towel for Keegan that Brenda had picked up from an arts and crafts show. It was a dog towel and we absolutely love it! My mom once again stopped by our house on the way home from work on Monday and dropped off a gift from Brenda. She had made a build a bear for Keegan, it is the cutest, softest dog  I have ever seen! When I took him out of the book and looked at his birth certificate, Brenda had named him Miracle. I got teary eyed. She told mom that before she put the little heart inside the dog she said a prayer and kissed it! That was the sweetest story I have heard in a long time! Here is a picture of the new addition to our family: Miracle.

Merry Christmas Everyone!

A Mother's Prayer

Tonight while Ry, Keegan and I begin to rest our heads to sleep, I will pray. I will pray very hard. I will pray with EVERY SINGLE ounce of my soul and this is what I will be praying.
Dear lord, heavenly father please watch over our little family tomorrow. Watch over Keegan as he is injected with chemicals to make the CT work. Watch over him as he gets put through a big scary machine. Watch over him as that machine scans him body for tumors. Dear lord watch over Ryan and I as our tiny baby is put through more tests than most people our age. Please help us to get through the test and subsequent hours of waiting to hear if our little boy has tumors in his small little body. Lord please let the doctors give us good news that there really are no tumors and his levels are just high for an unknown reason. I plead with you that you spare our baby of more tests, surgery, and cancer. I know what doesn't kill you makes you strong but lord he is only 2 and half months old! He has barely begun to live his life. He is such a precious baby that is loved by not just his mommy and daddy dearly but by aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and LOTS of friends near and far! Please listen to this prayer and others just like it for Baby Keegan tonight as we want the best possiable outcome from all of this. It is in your name that I pray.