::Deep Sigh::

First off, let me start this post by apologizing. I am so sorry for not updating as much lately. I find myself saying this a lot to our gracious followers. Its been a "normal" couple of weeks. Nothing major. I also decided about a week and a half ago to "try to not be on the computer as much." Its working out pretty well. I haven't turned my computer on since Sunday the 9th (until today of coarse). This means that I kinda forget about think like email and facebook. It also seems that I neglect my blog; again , sorry about that.

This post is gonna be short. We have an MRI tomorrow 10/20. I having been praying without ceasing. Any cancer patient or their family will tell you that MRI/CTs or other testing will bring out anxiety like never before. You live from scan to scan and the closer you get to the next scan the worse the fear and anxiety grip you. I am there right now. I have weened myself off of my anti anxiety and taking minimal antidepressants, so this is gonna be an interesting 24 hours.

On our Facebook fan page Karing for Keegan we have asked followers to wear green tomorrow in support of Keegan and our family. You can upload the pics of you and your family or pets in green to our page or send them to me at chupp.beth@gmail.com. I will showcase you after our scans.

Last but not least if you are a praying person, we ask for you prayers for patience and peace as we put him under general anesthesia, wait for the 2 1/2 hour full brain and spine scan and then talk with Dr. Shih. We should find out preliminary results tomorrow after the scan and ask for more prayers that the cancer is gone from the radiation and that we can progress onto metronomic chemotherapy.

I feel like I am asking a lot of you guys. I believe in the power of prayer, I always have. I hope you do too!

(photo courtsey of : Whisper from the Heart)

These are the kinda posts I hate....

We had our 1 year follow up MRI yesterday. I went in feeling strong and empowered with all the prayers out there for us. Our day was going okay until the nurse came in. If you are new to our story please go back to May & July last year, it will catch you up a little. So nurse J came in to check on Keegan. She examined him and then proceeded to tell us partial results from the MRI. His brain looks stable, good even (which made me very happy of coarse) the spots at the top of his spine and the sugar coating that was previously there is no longer (this is great!) I was about to be on cloud 9 when she threw in a doosie.

Keegan has an odd looking growth (that is what they are calling it right now) in the lumbar part of his spine. They are unsure of what it is, but they know for a fact it was not there 3 months ago. We got to talking about this spot and Dr. Shin pulled up the scans on the computer in our room. This "growth" is in the spinal column putting pressure on his spine and the sheath that surrounds and hold the spinal fluid.  Dr. Shih says its not a cyst (doesn't look fluid filled) but it doesn't light up like his other cancer did either so they really have NO ideas.

The best remedy, get in there and get it out as soon as possible. His neurosurgeon Dr. Ackerman thinks this will be fairly easy and can do it with no problems. So she scheduled his surgery early Monday morning.

So we got this news. Didn't really know how to react just knew I wanted to get the heck outta dodge and get home and be with my entire family. So we loaded up, went to the hotel and got our stuff and headed out of town. We got as far as HALF WAY HOME when I got a call on my cell. I answer, its Dr. Shih he then puts Dr. Ackerman on the phone and she tells me that we are needed to be back in Indy as soon as we can get there. She needs to evaluate him before she can operate Monday. I bust a U on highway 41 and head back to Indy (an hour and a half out now). We get there and head up to the Oncology/Hematology clinic where they page Dr. Ackerman.

Dr. Ackerman shows up in clinic, by now its 5:30 pm and everyone is gone. She looks him over and goes on to tell us what she thinks this might be or what it couldn't be. She said and I quote "He is cute but I don't trust him especially what happened a year ago today." Anyway so she checked him out, told us what to watch for this weekend as far as physical condition but other than that we would see her Monday morning. They graciously gave us a gas card to get back home since they made us turn around and we headed home.

Honestly I am rather numb. I believe in my heart of hearts that this is NOT cancer. I didn't get the "oh crap" feeling when they were talking to us and I hold strong to my faith that this is just something random. I look at him and clinically he looks great. I am saddened that there was anything at all on the scan but very hopeful that this will all be nothing.

His surgery is scheduled for first on on Monday morning. We have to be there at 5:45 am and Dr. Ackerman said to expect to be in hospital for 4-5 days. So Sunday we pack, for another stay at Riley. We will be in the new tower so we are told and it's supposed to be NICE, not that this is any consolation for a sick child. Keegan has to lay completely flat for 24 hours and then he has to take it easy for a week.

Please find our page on facebook: Karing for Keegan on Facebook. I have set up an event to wear green and pray on Monday. It would mean the world to my family if you were behind us praying and petitioning the gates of heaven to make sure this is NOT recurrent disease!

If you would like to share this on your personal blog please feel free or would like to add our family  (specifically Keegan) to any and all prayer lists I am okay with that. Please feel free to head to our facebook page and participate. If you questions or need to get ahold of me I am at chupp {dot} beth {at}gmail {dot} com.

Thanks for all the prayers and support and hear is to hoping this is an easy successful surgery and what they removed is nothing at all!

With Love,

Prayers

Good morning to all our blog world friends. I quickly just wanted to update you on the plan of events. We are leaving Evansville at 1pm this afternoon to get to Indy at a decent time. My mom and I have a hotel room very close the hospital. We are due to be at Riley at 6:30 am for our MRI. We are the first one on for the day so here is to hoping we get in and out easily. Hopefully Dr. Shih will give us a general idea of what the scan looks like late morning.

I do have to express that I am super nervous {although I haven't taken any Klonopin} in preparation for this scan. It is the one year anniversary of the tumor resection. A year ago this evening we were told our son had a mass in his head and needed immediate surgery. Around 9 pm the surgery started and finished the next day on the 12th of May at 6:30 am. Coincidentally we have to be at Riley at 6:30 am on the 12th of May once again.

I appreciate any special prayers you can give for Keegan and his health. I am also praying that he can come off isolation so we can go out and explore a world he has yet to see!

Much Love!

Busy Days and Busy Nights!

Since my last post it seems I can't get a spare minute to sit down and write an "update" post. One of the problems could be that I am A.D.D.I.C.T.E.D to Nip/Tuck. In 3 short weeks I have spent all my "spare" time watching Seasons 1, 2 and am currently on 3-I LOVE it, it is my getaway! Or it could be because I am out and about shopping with my sister trying to help her find a white dress or cute white tank for our family pictures that Bee Elle Photography  is going to take....so any who I apologize for the lack in posts, we are enjoying our time at home and LOVE being able to take Keegan out mask less, he likes it so much more!

I meant for this to be an update post, of everything that has happened since the last post BUT instead I have decided that I need to reach out and once again ask ALL my friend, family, and people that LOVE us but have no idea who we are to pray. I ask that if you pray, you pray with every.single.ounce.of.your.being.

Tomorrow is D Day, or should it be M Day....we are having our 2nd MRI tomorrow to decide for sure, 100% without.a.doubt that what is in his brain is tumor and nothing else. They are using the original MRI machine that was used during the original brain tumor diagnosis to compare clean, clear images; why they didn't do this this past time I don't know. They will also be performing a perfusion scan and a fiesta scan to check as to what the tumor is made of and the blood supply (if it really is a tumor). My prayer, and the prayer I hope you all pray for us today and tomorrow, is that what they saw almost a month ago now on his MRI image was just "something" else, not tumor at all. 

We will arrive at Riley to check into same day surgery around 10:30 am Indy time, from there we wait until 12 when he is taken back for an hour and half MRI sedated of coarse, and then we see the Oncologist; but don't know whether he will be able to give us results or not.

I know I ask a lot of my readers sometimes, and I understand if you don't pray and aren't religious, but I am praying, and I am religious, and I want God to intervene and perform his miracle now more than ever-are you with me?

A Mother's Prayer

Tonight while Ry, Keegan and I begin to rest our heads to sleep, I will pray. I will pray very hard. I will pray with EVERY SINGLE ounce of my soul and this is what I will be praying.
Dear lord, heavenly father please watch over our little family tomorrow. Watch over Keegan as he is injected with chemicals to make the CT work. Watch over him as he gets put through a big scary machine. Watch over him as that machine scans him body for tumors. Dear lord watch over Ryan and I as our tiny baby is put through more tests than most people our age. Please help us to get through the test and subsequent hours of waiting to hear if our little boy has tumors in his small little body. Lord please let the doctors give us good news that there really are no tumors and his levels are just high for an unknown reason. I plead with you that you spare our baby of more tests, surgery, and cancer. I know what doesn't kill you makes you strong but lord he is only 2 and half months old! He has barely begun to live his life. He is such a precious baby that is loved by not just his mommy and daddy dearly but by aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins and LOTS of friends near and far! Please listen to this prayer and others just like it for Baby Keegan tonight as we want the best possiable outcome from all of this. It is in your name that I pray.