Thursday, December 24, 2009

Christmas Wish

I was going to name this post, Thought provoking Thursday Post but decided against it at the last minute. Maybe in the future I will have a "Day of the Week" Post but for now, this is my christmas wish. While Keegan was laying on my lap today, grinning and giggling and melting his momma's heart, I had a swell in my throat. Not only for my baby, who turned 3 months old yesterday but for the future. I see him and want so badly for him to have "normal" functioning, I believe deep down in my mommy soul that he will and if not, if we are dealing with some repercussions of SGBS and he ends up having some delay or slowness, that will not change how Ryan or I or even any of his family love him.
You always want what is best for you child, I totally get this concept now.  That being said, while I was watching Keegan today on my lap smiling at the door, I turned to Ry and commented how I would eventually like to give Keegan a brother or a sister (maybe both).  This is really my christmas wish, I dont want Keegan to be alone, I want him to have a sibling to share in the fun of holidays, family get togethers and weeknight dinners. Above all things I want him to have a sibling so he can have a best friend that has a bond stronger than most.  The one thing that worries me and crosses my mind daily is "what if we are told one of us is the carrier for  SGBS" I don't want to knowingly bring another child into this word only to have obstacles placed in their way because "we wanted another child."
I dont know, I know its not in our hands. I also know that I am a worrier. Its in my blood to not only worry about things in my control but to also worry about things that aren't. So this year, my christmas wish is to eventually be able to give Keegan a brother or sister to grow up with. We will be getting genetically tested sooner rather than later so we can know for sure but if there is one thing I want this year for christmas, its not DVDS, jewerly, clothes or even gift cards. It's to know that there is hope that we are not the carries of the gentic mutation and that we can go on to have another healthy baby or two.
I am going to leave you with a sweet story because I have gotten very deep and kind of sad in my last couple of posts and I apologize, its just what I am going through right now. My mom has a friend named Brenda. Brenda is a wonderful lady. She came to my baby shower and asks about baby Keegan anytime mom sees her at work. About two months ago mom stopped by our house on the way home from work with a towel for Keegan that Brenda had picked up from an arts and crafts show. It was a dog towel and we absolutely love it! My mom once again stopped by our house on the way home from work on Monday and dropped off a gift from Brenda. She had made a build a bear for Keegan, it is the cutest, softest dog  I have ever seen! When I took him out of the book and looked at his birth certificate, Brenda had named him Miracle. I got teary eyed. She told mom that before she put the little heart inside the dog she said a prayer and kissed it! That was the sweetest story I have heard in a long time! Here is a picture of the new addition to our family: Miracle.

Merry Christmas Everyone!


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