Saturday, December 24, 2011

Our First Christmas

The feelings and emotions are still raw and {{right there}}. It's hard to deal with the day to day emotions let alone Christmas. I'm not 100% how I am gonna get through the next couple of days let alone the New Year feeling like I am leaving my one and only son in the year 2011.

I know it will get better, I know I will have good days and bad and I know in the rational part of my brain that I will never ever forget his laugh, his dimple right above his butt crack and his love for Elmo. But unfortunately the holidays are making it a little bit harder to help myself get beyond the grief.

I still have that peace, I do. He is gone and in no more pain, but like I said on face book a few days ago, DAMMIT I miss that kid!

Christmas '10


  1. Hi Beth,
    This is a hard journey. I know there are many praying for you and I am one of them. Continuing to lift you up to the Lord and that the change in the new year will be not too hard on you.


  2. Praying for you and i know little Keegan is in enjoying his 1st xmas a heavenly angel

  3. Dear Beth,
    I just stumbled by coincidence over your blog and prayed for your son and you for the last 1.5 years or so. I understand that nothing I - a stranger - write or say can comfort you. The picture you posted is beautiful. Keegan's poise and dignity have deeply impressed me and will always humble me.
    And yes, I wish you other children. But of course, you will always stay Keegan's mommy. He will always be your son.
    Praying for Keegan and you.


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