I have had an Epiphany. It has happened in the last 24 hours, kid you not. I can understand part of the reason I worry so much. I know I have lots of reasons to worry and stress but the truth is I myself am a control freak and a planner.
The situation we are faced with is completely out of my control; obviously, and that is some of my problem. I can't control the when's and how's. I can control certain things like pain level and comfort. In a way that does help. I have a little power in a very unstable situation.
The planner part of me is trying to think of plan for his life celebration. While I am putting off the actual funeral home arrangements, I have ideas in my mind of how I/we should celebrate Keegan's two years of life and that gives me a bit of comfort and control.
There is one family in particular, whom we weren't terribly close at all during our children's stays at Riley but through email correspondence and most likely future phone calls, they have given me more courage to face the unthinkable and I am so thankful to have them in my life. They let me know they are there to talk, cry and vent. They lost their precious son less than a year ago so they relate and its still right there fresh in their minds which I feel has helped me bond to them.
I am so appreciative of all the emails and messages sent to us. They help lift my spirits that we are not in this alone, keep 'em comin :) I value each and everyone of my followers-new and old. You are walking with us and helping us feel less alone and more a part of a very special Team who cares for a very special Angel that I have had the honor to be his mom.
**Also a quick thank you to those who have contributed to Keegans Final Expense fund-Thank you Thank You Thank You!