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On February 23rd, kind of by freak accident, found out we were expecting another baby Chupp. While I was apprehensive from the beginning I was looking forward to the pregnancy and another baby. We were hoping this baby would have traits and attributes that Keegan had thus passing on his legacy.
Last Thursday March 8th I started to get pretty bad cramping. I went to the bathroom where I noticed I started bleeding, A LOT! I called my doctors office as soon as it opened b/c by that time I passed a clot that is what I think was the baby. My doctors office told me to hold out hope, whatever that means. By this time I was in soooo much pain and bleeding very very bad.
I arrived at the doctors office around 9:30, had an ultrasound which confirmed there was a sac but the technician could not see a baby. Then I went over to see my OB. He told me he could do a D&C that afternoon or he could give me some pain pills and another medication to pass the miscarriage naturally. After talking to him he decided it would be best to do the D&C. I went into his schedulers office and scheduled it for 1pm.
A little over 2 hours from the time I left Dr. Mann's office I would be back to square one and not pregnant anymore. While I knew it was probably for the best since first trimester miscarriages are more times than not due to chromosomal abnormalities, my mind was playing tricks on me and I began to question why God didn't want Ryan and I have to children. After all our first and most perfect baby was taken to heave after 2 year and a little over 2 months and our other baby didn't even live past 6 weeks gestation.
So this has left me to wonder, when is the third thing gonna happen and what is it? I am scared out of my mind. I am trying to turn it over to the Lord but geesh is it hard. We have had more than our fair share of bad things happen to us, when is it gonna stop?
I'm soo sorry Beth. Your feeling are totally normal but you are great parents and i have faith that one day soon you will hold another child in your arms and he/she will be proudly watched over by their big brother Keegan.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe bad things happen in threes. I believe God has many wonderful things in store for you. Sending hugs your way.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry, Beth. I'm praying for your family.
ReplyDeleteI am so very sorry, praying for you guys
ReplyDeleteI am sorry for your loss. :( I don't believe bad things happen in 3's or any other number. Bad things happen because we live in a fallen world, a world that is subjected to sin and death.
ReplyDeleteI know this is hard but come on you can get back up, brush yourself off and wipe your tears. Keep on walking towards Jesus seeking His face and telling Him how much you want another baby. I think of that story of Hannah her story is in 1 Samuel 1
1 Samuel 1:12-16
12 As she kept on praying to the LORD, Eli observed her mouth. 13 Hannah was praying in her heart, and her lips were moving but her voice was not heard. Eli thought she was drunk 14 and said to her, “How long are you going to stay drunk? Put away your wine.”
15 “Not so, my lord,” Hannah replied, “I am a woman who is deeply troubled. I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the LORD. 16 Do not take your servant for a wicked woman; I have been praying here out of my great anguish and grief.”
Keep praying and asking God to provide a baby for you. Ask Him to open your womb so you may conceive.
I am praying for you as well, that God will bless you with happy, healthy children.
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I wish there were words that would make things better for you and your family, but we both know that words cannot take away your pain. Know that you are being prayed for.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about your lose. Why all this is happening to you I have no idea, but rest in the fact that God does. I'll be praying for you guys!
ReplyDeleteI am sorry to hear this, I am keeping you in my prayers. God has a plan for you, I am sure of it.
ReplyDeleteI surely don't have the answer for you. It is normal to question God's plan, and to be afraid of what's coming next. While I certaintly have never been through what you have, I have wondered this same thing.After 2 m/c's and a 26 week delivery- I had a lot of questions for the big man. I may not have all my answers, but I am just holding on to his promise for a better tomorrow and that HIS plan goes the way he wants it to go. I highly recommend the song Blessings by Laura Story. Hold your head up, you are so incredibly strong. We are all crying and praying for you :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your loss. Keeping you in my prayers. I know your pain of miscarriage all too well. God does have a plan for you though.
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