Wishing You were here.....

Keegan,

Its May now, you have been gone from our loving arms for almost 6 months. It is so hard  to wrap my brain around the fact that just 6 short months ago you were alive and we were getting ready to go on your Wish Trip.    What a great time you had, I am sure you were in more pain that I can ever know but you kept a smile on that gorgeous face as if you didn't want to show us how bad things really were. 

You know how hard of a month May is for me, I am sure. My very first Mother's Day I felt you move for the first time inside me, little did I know a mere year later on my first Mother's Day with you in my arms you would be life flighted to Riley with what turned out to be a brain tumor. My third Mother's Day you relapsed and we were expecting a surgery on your spine within days and here I am a few days after what would be my fourth Mother's Day and I talk to you through my heart, not in person. 

I am a shattered mess Keegs my whole soul aches for you and I don't really know how I am gonna live to be old and grey without you in my life. You were my reason for being a mom, you were my little booga booga. Even though I know you are pain free running around with Bree I long to see your smile, your bright blue eyes and hear you laugh. You and daddy were my everything and now I just don't know what to do. 

Daddy and I got home from our cruise almost a week ago. While we had a good time in the Caribbean sun we both commented how it made us miss you more because you would have loved doing some of the things we got to do. It made it more evident that you were gone when people would ask if we had any kids or why we took a cruise. Sometimes we explained what happened and sometimes we didnt, please dont ever think we dont want to share you or the courageous fight you fought, but some people just can't handle reality. 

I miss you buddy more today than I did yesterday. The anniversaries are terrible for me, I wish I could completely forget about dates and just focus on all the good memories but its easier said than done. 

Until next time buddy I love you,

Momma

Brain Tumor Awareness Month

May 1st started brain tumor awareness month.....This is a month that is obviously near and dear to my heart, for this and many other reasons. I think this month deserves a post about how common brain tumors are and how little funding they get in contrast to breast, prostate, etc.

The statistics for brain cancer are alarming to say the least.

According to the American Brain Tumor Association brain tumors are the second leading cause of cancer-related deaths in children (males and females) under age 20 (leukemia is the first). It is also the second leading cause of cancer related deaths in males ages 20-39 with it being the fifth leading cause of cancer related deaths in females of the same age group. These are all staggering and startling statistics.....as our new brain tumor awareness shirts say, brain cancer effects all walks of life!

According to the same site in 2012 approximately 4,200 children younger than age 20 will be diagnosed with a primary brain tumor of which 3,020 will be under the age of 15. I dont know about you but this information makes me sick to my stomach. 4,200 children REALLY? Yet the funding for both childhood cancer and brain cancer has significantly less money allocated than cancers such as breast and prostate. SOMETHING needs to change!

This month, can you please take the time to pray and think about all the people affected by brain tumors. Including but definitely not limited to:

Keegan C
Bree H
Talon B
Wesley J
Kate M
Lucy
Scarlett W
Mike J
Rylee R
Prestin B
Anna L
Joey K
Mikie B
Danielle B
Corin L
Dylan R
Chase E
Alex G
Jazmine B

and all the other heros that have fought and continue to fight!
Grey Matters!