Saturday, July 30, 2011

Do I Dare title this post "Yet Another Plan?"

I wanted to start this post off with a beautiful song that really sticks with me these days:

Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile, what's the use of crying?
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you just smile

Sorry if that made you all teary eyed, its just how I am living my life day to day; or minute by minute in some circumstances.

We have had a good couple days. Keegan seems to be annoyed (as he should be) that his legs aren't working. We had to go from whats called an "in and out Cath" to a "Foley" yesterday. Not last night but the night before since it was set for us to insert the cath every 6 hours, he just got too full and was WAY uncomfortable.It was decided later that morning that we would just cath him and leave it it as to put him through less torture.

This weekend we are just relaxing, no radiation like almost everyday last week and no big plans for scans or anything like that. Some family is coming to visit today and mom might be coming tomorrow. The biggest thing I am looking forward to today is going to get cupcakes at The Flying Cupcake Bakery, ummmmm how I love cuppy cakes!!!

Our "plan" for the week includes the following:
  • Monday: Radiation at o'dark hundred (aka 7:30 am) then probably being released to home/Bloomington
  • Tuesday: We could either be home home in Evansville or starting Proton Beam in Bloomington. This is the part that is yet up in the air. It usually takes 2 weeks to get everything in Bloomington set up to start radiation but Dr. B has worked till midnight at least 1 night I am aware of to get things going for Keegan so we don't loose precious time. If we are home home I am going to get a new tattoo with my birthday money (I turned 30 on the 13th of July). I have already contacted my "artist" and have an appointment for Tuesday evening.
  • Wednesday: If we aren't in Bloomington yet, we will repack, and get our bearings after my OB appointment. Not to put too much of our business out on the inter webs but we would REALLY like Keeegan to know the love of a sibling and since we are having a little more trouble than we did with him, I am going to see Dr. Mann about where to go next since its been 6 months of charting and "doing the right stuff" according to his nurse.
  • Thursday: If we don't start radiation in Bloomington on Tuesday this is our GO day. We start our 6 week protocol and will be living at Jill's house in Bloomington.......
So that is the "kinda plan". Every time I say we have a plan something else happens and the "plan" is thrown out the window so this is our "kinda plan"

I am going to leave you this morning with a cute video I took yesterday of Ryan and Keegan playing peek a boo. Keegan was in an exceptionally great mood yesterday and giggled more than he has in a week or so, I got some of it on video:'

Peek-a-Boo! from Keegansmommy09 on Vimeo.


  1. Hi Beth,
    My heart is just aching for what you are going through. This is so very tough. I pray for healing and I also pray for you and Ryan that you can see God's purpose in all of this.

    1 Peter 5:6-11

    6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time. 7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

    8 Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. 9 Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

    10 And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast. 11 To him be the power for ever and ever. Amen.

    I am always praying for you 3 and so you know I am hurting along with you.

    Praying and praying,

  2. Dear Beth, Ryan and Keegan,

    I am a friend of Child of God - and when I read the latest update on Keegan, well my heart is truly aching for you all. Jaiden (my son, age 9)watched the video of Ryan and Keegan playing peek-a-boo. So, so sweet to hear Keegan giggle, with all that he endures.

    Jaiden and I will keep you all in our prayers. I'm now following your blog and I've added a prayer button to my site.

    Together through Jesus, we can make a difference.

    A favourite Scripture of mine is Isaiah 43:19 - God is love, God is hope, God will make a way, when there seems to be no way.

    Hold onto God's word... Whatever it is, it is not bigger than God.

    Where there is no clear path forward, God creates one and where there is no natural relief or refreshment, God provides it. I know, because this is what he has done for me.

    Hang in there, beautiful family!

    Love to you!!! Kerrie xOx

  3. Dear Beth & family,

    Have been anxiously awaiting your update. Sorry to hear things are difficult. Having been in your shoes at one time, you are right to focus on each liitle step, smile, & moment at a time. I loved the video & Keegan's laughter with his daddy. Praying for you & thinking of you daily.

    Another Mom

  4. Hi, I came via Kerrie from Eagle Altitude. Please know you and your precious little one are in my prayers.

  5. My heart engages with your sweet video and post. Your precious little one is in my prayers along with you and Ryan.

  6. I am thinking of Keegan and his parents everyday. The short video is beautiful and heartbreaking at the same time. Every night, you are in my prayers.


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